Growing up I always had the tendency to constantly put my problems on other people. Not necessarily bringing people down because of them but I attempted to take the pressure off myself by blaming others for them. I didn’t turn my homework in and got a 0? Not my fault. I lied about something so stupid and everyone calls me a liar from now on? Not my fault. I am slut because I’m too flirty? Not my fault. The list goes on and on. For so long I lived my life trying to be guilt free of my own problems all while digging myself in deeper holes I soon realized would be near impossible to climb out of. Negativity is impossible to hide from. I don’t care how positive you are, how much you do yoga and how one with the earth you are, that shit is everywhere. So, what’s the key from getting away from it? Most books, pod cast, and any kind of self-help theory will say “DO A LIFE CLEANSE.” A life cleanse?! What is that? I can barely do a juice cleanse without caving in on day one around lunch time after my first juice. The idea of doing a life cleanse is magical, you get to get rid of people you don’t really like, go from a size 8 to a size 2, make more money, and all around be happier in a month! Well, that’s what most of them say. I believed in this once and I still do in some respects but let’s be realistic. Life cleanses take time, a lot of time and for me I didn’t want to spend all my time trying to make myself a better person, I just wanted to BE a better person! After much research, and probably 100 hippie books one thing really started to set in for me. Why am I going to all these people (books) to help me make such an important life decision? Why can’t I be a grown woman and just make the decision to be responsible for my own actions and be happy!? It’s not like its rocket science. Then that annoying habit I have kicks in, my parents are the reason I’m not happy. All my Ex-boyfriends that were mean to me and lied. My friends that used me and did horrible things behind my back, once again the list goes on. Then one day I woke up. I mentally came to a realization as to what if I made those people do things to me because of the way I behaved. The way I chose to live my life affected them in a negative way to where they felt like that’s the only way they could treat me? In some cases, I know I am being hard on myself, but the reality is that was the day I chose to take responsibility. The more something or someone threatens your identity,the more you will avoid it. The more you will push and shove the idea that you might have actually brought this upon yourself. That was the day I decided that everything that happens to me is because I choose it to be that way by the energy I was exerting into the world. That would be the way the world slaps back, and let me tell you, ever since then my life has changed. I decided to apologize, even if it were things I didn’t do wrong. I started to forgive. When negativity knocked at my door I would roll with it, I wouldn’t push against it. I did all this because I wanted to live a guilt free life, I officially felt the poor Gaby feeling no more. It isn’t easy but it is worth it. The main thing I want you to take away from this is that it’s time to take control of your life. Because once you do it’s so much more manageable. The things that have been weighing you down suddenly will lift and you will float to the happiness island you always dreamed about living on. I still have haters, I mean who doesn’t? But at least I know those haters hate willingly and not because I’m giving them reasons. Have I given them reasons, 100% but I also have owned up to them and that guilt and blame is lifted. Do I still hate? Of course I do, but I’m done thriving on hating in the past. It consumes you, don’t let it do that anymore. Embrace the negative, let it shape you not destroy you.